for a person usually so longwinded, being at a complete loss for words is not a fun expirience. I usually have some sort of insight to offer about myself or someone else or some kind of situation, but I find myself completely unable to even begin to know where I’m at, much less provide some kind of personal extrapolation. I find myself very unstable but doing absolutely nothing about it. I’m not even sure if that’s a bad thing yet. I feel very lost in my hopes and dreams and aspirations and even my very ability to be satisfied in basic things. Do we really spend our entire lives chasing satisfaction only to never have it actualized? I feel like that’s the dirty truth that no one wants to admit, like that why our parents tell us we can be president, so that the fact that we will never be satisfied with anything important or longlasting doesn’t ruin ourchildhood or some other freudian bullshit like that. reading ‘how to parent’ books has replaced parenting. I feel very impulsive in thinking that nothing I do will ever bring complete satisfaction anytime soon. I start to feel like sleeping is a waste of time, like I don’t want to miss something important. which is why I’m blogging at 530a